The Key to Connection Part 4: Touch

Have you ever had a conversation with someone you love, only to feel like you’re talking in circles? Your words lose their power, and connection slips away. This can happen in any relationship, even with the one closest to your heart.

My wife, Amy, and I have experienced this in our marriage. We’re great at conversation, but after years together, realized we needed to go deeper. A vivid memory comes to mind: an argument where the topic itself has long been forgotten. We just knew we needed to move beyond words and connect on another level. Leaning in, we rested our foreheads together and simply said, “Let’s not talk anymore. Let’s just be still.” That simple act changed everything. Sitting in quiet closeness has become a practice we rely on when words reach their limit.

This got me thinking about the importance of touch. Imagine two great conversationalists – a purely intellectual connection. Now, picture them sitting beside one another perhaps with their legs touching at the hips – that’s different.

As I write this, I’m with my son in the hospital as he recovers from a facial surgery. Last night the pain medication didn’t sit well with him and brought about fearful dreams. My wife Amy was with him, touched his hand and things subsided. That’s what I’m saying – the power of touch, sometimes it means everything.

Why Our Senses Matter

The Bible emphasizes the importance of touch from the very beginning. In the creation story, God gets down on his hands and knees, breathing life into man (Genesis 2:7). This wasn’t just a symbolic act; it was a deeply intimate touch. Imagine it – our first awareness of God began with his breath on ours and lip on lip connection. Powerful.

Touch isn’t the only sense that matters. In our digital age, we often neglect the richness of the world by shutting out our other senses. David, in the Psalms, directs us to “Taste and see that the Lord is good” (Psalm 34:8). Engaging all five senses creates a more vibrant experience in life, fostering deeper connection with others and memories that will last.

I Let My Dog Be My Guide

Over the last few months, I decided to make a change. Instead of my usual morning routine of reading (purely mental stimulation), I’ve been taking walks in the woods before dawn, right out of bed. But instead of walking my dog, I let him walk me.

This simple shift – focusing on my senses – transforms my experience. My usual 20-minute walk stretches into an hour of discovery. I stop when my dog stops, look at what he looks at, even sometimes I crouch to smell what he smells. It’s a sensory feast.

The result? I feel more grounded, positive, and engaged throughout the day. My usual urge to check my phone fades, and a new desire comes, one to connect better with people relationally and do my creative work.

Make the Space: Reconnecting Through Your Senses

I’ve been thinking about how many walk away from churches because their logic centers are exhausted. Too much teaching and talking. Not enough sensory or relational experiences.
By the way, Johann Hari’s book, Stolen Focus, confirms this. We are walking 20% faster than we used to (p. 35) and sleeping 20% less (p. 67). Life is crazy, and the expectations we put on our leaders to create transcendent experiences can feel unrealistic.

What if, instead of looking for others to ignite our connection with the divine, we embraced our sensory nature? What if we filled our free time with sensory feasts? Even yesterday while walking to the hospital, I chose to walk in the rain instead of drive. I didn’t wear my glasses and walked with everything slightly blurry – it was really neat, and things looked like a Thomas Kinkade painting.

If we want a new experience, we’ve got to try different things. It’s simple really.

Throughout this series, we’ve explored ways to connect with God and others. Now, it’s your turn to put it into practice. Try some mindful exercises to heighten your awareness of everyday sensations. Take a walk in nature and truly immerse yourself in the sights, sounds, smells, textures, and even temperature changes.

Move beyond screens and pre-planned events. Cultivate a deeper connection with yourself, others, and the divine through sensory experiences. Your faith walk doesn’t have to be all logic; it can be sensory too. Put down the books, go for a walk, smell the flowers, the dirt, and whatever else catches your nose. Touch it too. Maybe even give some things a taste (within reason, of course!).

Psalm 34:8 Revisited

The Bible uses taste as a metaphor for experiencing God’s goodness. But what if we expanded our senses?
* Smell and know the Lord is good.
* Touch and feel the Lord is good.
* See and wonder at the Lord’s presence.
* Slow down and breathe the air God provides.

Getting in touch with your senses could be the very thing that reignites your awareness of God’s closeness.

I wish you the best.